Trust is a psychological state where you don’t have a full control of the situation but are willing to take a chance on the person in front of you. You make yourself vulnerable because you expect positive outcomes (Robbins, Judge, 2015).
When you trust someone you have confidence in their integrity, abilities and intentions. You are willing to give them the benefit of the doubt when they say or do the wrong thing.
Usually, we think about how much can we trust others, but how often do we consider the central question: How do WE inspire trust in relationships?
Frei and Morris capture the essence of trust in The Trust Triangle, trust having three drivers (Harvard Business Review, May-June 2020):
1. Logic,
2. Authenticity and
3. Empathy.
Logic refers to your ability of being able to do the job.
Authenticity means that others experience you as your true-self.
With Empathy you convey to others that you care about them and their success. High achieving leaders struggle with the last driver and yet it is a very important component of empowerment leadership (for more on Empathy read https://www.standoutjane.com/empathy-pick-up-the-baby-man/).
Other authors, such as Robbins and Judge (2015) identify someone as trustworthy based on their Integrity, Benevolence, and Ability. Covey (2008) describes it as a function of Character and Competence, while emphasising that trust flows from us to our relationships, organisations, markets and societies.
Character is as a sum of your integrity, motive and intent.
Competence is a sum of your capabilities, skills, results and history.
So how you do you start to build trust? How do you become more trustworthy?
You can start building trust by:
First, assessing your current state of character and competence and
Second, adopting behaviours that promote trustworthiness.
Here, literature suggest a number of behaviours such as talking honestly, showing respect, being accountable, loyal and correcting wrongdoings.
You can start building trusting relationships by adopting behaviours that promote trustworthiness. Here are tips (heuristics) that I have adopted from Jim Donovan, Managing Director of Goldman Sachs, and that you can use in dealings with clients and business partners:
1. Use clear, simple language even with the most prominent clients. Avoid fancy terms and industry jargons that clients might not understand.
2. Develop a conversation, a dialogue. Part of that conversation might be your ‘sales pitch’ but you are there to learn about the client and how you can best serve their needs, therefore…
3. Learn about the client. Ask open ended questions, avoid yes/no question and instead use what/how.
4. Be humble and (sincerely) curious about the client’s business. Inform yourself about the clients and their business before going into the meeting.
5. Use silence: Pay attention to the cadence of your voice: use pauses to counter potential nervousness, balance the power between you and the client and most importantly, give client the space to ask questions and make comments.
5. Give advice that could be against your immediate financial interest – but it makes sense for the client. Sometimes your service or a deal isn’t the optimal option for the other side, or at least not right away. Don’t be afraid to ‘lose the deal’.
6. Be positive & professional. Keep in mind why you are in the meeting. Leave your personal life in front of the door.
7. Be responsive to the client’s emails and phone calls. Respond immediately even if you don’t have all the answers right away.
8. Take position. You are in ‘that room’ for a reason. You might have several options available for the client but: What is the ONE advice that you are giving? Avoid ambiguity.
9. Control the meeting: have a set agenda, know your subject and end goal. Always recap the meeting and define the next step. Client wants to know that you are in charge, and basically that you know what you are doing.
10. Have a system in place – create steps of how to deal with a new client from the beginning until the end. Where possible learn from someone who already has an established system and add your own elements.
Image: Alamy, Margin Call 2011.