An idea stayed with me this week around decision-making and why it is important to trust ourselves. All because of Sharon Stone.
We don’t outsource our decisions because we’re indecisive.
We do it because somewhere along the way, we stopped trusting what we already know.
So we ask. Friends, family, partners, mentors. One person, then another. We tell ourselves we’re being thorough and just need a little more time. And there is nothing wrong with that. But while we are gathering perspectives from others, we’re often ignoring what we already know — because our own knowing doesn’t feel like enough.
This is what keeps us stuck.
This is how we give our power away.
This is how we make decisions based on other people’s opinions of what is best for us.
Every time you go outward for an answer you already have inward, you quietly teach yourself that your own judgment cannot be trusted.
At work, it looks like this. Over-reliance on your team’s input. Holding back your opinion until someone else voices it first. Waiting for someone to tell you you’re ready — when part of you has known for a while that you are.
There is a distinction worth making here.
Reaching out to others is valuable — as long as it sharpens your thinking. Not if it replaces it.
Before you reach for another opinion, ask yourself honestly:
- Do I need more input — or can I trust what I already know?
- What would I decide if I treated my own judgment as reliable?
What you already know is data. And so is other people’s perspective. But nobody else has lived inside your life, your values, and your experience of this situation. No one else can see it from where you are standing.
That is how self-trust is built. This is how confidence is built. In the moments you choose to act on what you already know.
Which brings me back to Sharon Stone. In a recent interview, she said her relationship ended because her husband didn’t like that she made all her decisions by herself — for herself.
She didn’t say it with regret.
That detail stayed with me. Because self-trust at that level isn’t always comfortable for the people around us. But the alternative — shrinking your judgment to make others more comfortable with you — isn’t acceptable either.
This week, ask yourself:
What is one decision you’re currently circling that, if you’re honest, you already know the answer to?
I’d love to hear what is shifting in your life and work.
Write to: welcome@standoutjane.com
I read every reply. Send me yours.
Bon weekend.
Image: Alamy, Sharon Stone.