A few ideas stayed with me this week — all circling around my favourite theme:
Confidence – and where does it really ‘come from’.
Here are 2,5 layers of confidence to take into the week.
And, an interesting exercise to try and let me know how it worked out for you in 2036.
Confidence Level 1: Performance
Have you ever walked into a meeting, done your best, impressed everyone — and then left the room full of doubt?
You looked confident. You sounded confident. Others may have experienced you as composed, articulate and capable. Yet inside, you were questioning yourself.
This is the first level of confidence: performance.
There is nothing wrong with it. How we show up matters. The way we speak, dress, carry ourselves and communicate our ideas tell the world:
This is who I am. This is what I can do. This is what you can expect from me.
It is part of executive presence. It opens doors. It allows others to trust our capability.
So say what you want. Stand behind what you bring. Let your presence match your potential.
But realise that performance is not the whole of confidence. You can appear highly capable and still feel uncertain inside.
Confidence Level 2: The Inner Game
The second level of confidence is less visible and intimate to you. It’s a deeper sense of confidence.
You may still question yourself, feel insecure or wonder whether you are ready but trust yourself enough to keep moving. It sounds like this:
I may not know exactly how this will unfold, but I trust I can handle it.
I may not be perfect, but I am capable of learning.
I may feel uncomfortable, but discomfort is not a reason to quit.
This kind of confidence begins when you stop treating every weakness as evidence that you are not good enough; when you stop trying to prove your worth by accepting both your strengths and your imperfections; when you realise that negative emotions are also ‘ok’ and a sign of growth. And also, when you let go of fear of other people’s opinions and focus on what you can influence.
This kind of confidence grows when you act before you feel completely ready – for a new job, a new relationship, a more visible role.
Confidence Level 2,5: Love
The added level of confidence may be the one we speak about least, because it can be undermined – confidence that comes through love.
At a public conversation in Amsterdam (October, 2025), Christine Lagarde offered advice that seemed unexpected from the president of a central bank:
“Rely on love. Give love, receive love. It will build your confidence and it will give confidence to others.”
We often imagine confidence as a solitary achievement — something we build through discipline, competence and personal courage alone.
But many of the risks we take are possible because someone believes in us. Because someone encourages us. Because we are loved well enough to trust that we can leave the familiar and try something new.
Confidence does not grow only from proving that you can do everything alone. It also grows from getting support from others and asking for help.
A New Layer of Confidence – The Future You [Thursday 29-05-2036]
Confidence also comes from designing and following your own path.
Suspend your current beliefs and try the following exercise:
Ten years from now, it’s a Thursday evening 29th of May, 2036.
Where are you living? Who is beside you? What does your home feel like? What kind of work fills your days? What conversations and rituals give your life meaning?
Most importantly: How does it feel to be you?
Write about it. In as much detail as you can. Do not start with practicalities and probabilities. Suspend the disbelief. Do not immediately ask how you will get there. Allow yourself to see what you want.
This exercise was originally inspired by the designer Milton Glaser, who was asking his students (for fifty years) to imagine the life they could have if they were not restrained by fear of failure. Designer and educator Debbie Millman later made a ten-year version of it widely known.
[You can listen also listen to Debbie Millman on Linkedin News Podcast here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAFmgd8LWbc]
This is not a planning exercise. It is a confidence exercise.
This Week’s Reset
Confidence begins with how you show up.
It deepens through the trust you build within yourself.
It grows stronger through the love you give and receive.
This week, ask yourself:
How aligned are my inner and outer confidence – which one needs more attention?
What risk, if I took it, would make the biggest difference for me?
What support do I need to achieve my ambitions?
How can I offer my support to others?
I’d love to hear what is shifting in your life and work.
Write to: welcome@standoutjane.com
I read every reply. Send me yours.
Bon weekend.